You know the saying: “If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room…” This is true on many levels, not just with intelligence.
The startup scene likes to produce this type of quote when it wants to instill good leadership qualities. However I have found that this isn’t just about leadership of others, but just as important, if not more so, for personal growth and maturity.
Make sure you are surrounding yourself with the types of people who make you want to elevate your own personal growth just because you are around them. I’m not just talking about the people in your life that you go to for advice, those are necessary as well. But the types of people that you want to emulate in whatever area it is that you respect about them. This extends to your circle of friends as well. How many of us have a ‘friend’ that holds us back because of their own insecurity or jealously… it’s common so don’t feel bad for your success even if your ‘friend’ can’t get excited for you.
Think of these people as personal areas of life mentors. It doesn’t have to be official and you can do this from afar as well. The reality is modeling your behavior around people that are where you want to get to is paramount to you actually getting there.
I surround myself with those who inspire me and elevate me and that I want to be around. The more i’m around them, the more I want and the more I can give to the people who are around me.
Dennys Lozada
So how can you tell if a person is genuine in what you admire. Well, the reality is that most of us have our flaws. No one is perfect and you should never meet your heroes… But you can sure tell a few things about a person by how they react to things. Like your success or the success of others. A true friend or mentor will genuinely be excited for you when you win. But someone who is insecure or not really a ‘winner’ will ride on your accomplishments and never really add anything to your effort. In fact they will tear it down with snarky comments, jokes or maybe even disengaging from you while you are doing your thing.
The thing is, if you’re busy working on your goals or being a better version of yourself, you won’t have the time to spare to give in to negativity especially negativity directed towards others. These types of people are spending their energy on their own growth and learning as much as they can from their environment and those around them. Including you…
Heck if you’re one of these negative people you may find yourself being dropped from your own friend-circle. It’s like T-Pain says:
There’s an asshole in every group of friends. So if don’tthink any of your friends are assholes……. You’re the asshole.
Being an asshole aside, if you find that you have a ‘friend’ who is marginally supportive of you, or if this is you. Then you’ve got some work to do on yourself. Don’t despair, you’re not too far gone, I promise. You probably just need to start with some self-awareness.
A great place to start is to look at those you surround yourself with on a daily basis. If you find yourself is daily sit-down bitch sessions or aren’t talking about the good things happening in your lives then you may just be associating with someone who can’t help you get to that next level just by being around them. Find people who make you feel good and those that can help you begin to see things in a positive light, or simply those that will hold you accountable to your emotions and outlook. It can be uncomfortable at first, but if you are truly looking to walk the warrior’s path then you won’t mind getting a little better.
When we write ‘RX’ in a workout, it has a specific meaning. It means this is the ‘prescribed’ weight or rep-scheme or timing you should strive to be at. Sometimes you may not be able to do the workout with the prescribed weight, and that is very much okay! The overall idea is that this the intended weight, or rep-scheme, distance or timing you should be doing the workout at, so that you get the stimulus we want you to get from the workout.
Here’s an example: if the workout calls for you to do 10, 200 lb Deadlifts along with 10 Burpees as many times as you can within 10 minutes with an expected outcome on this would be 4 or 5 rounds. But you can only do a 200 lb Deadlift 2 or 3 times, so this means you only get 2 rounds out of the 10 minutes, then the workout is no longer delivering the intended stimulus. It has now changed into a max-out Deadlift strength workout for you. It would be far better for you to use 100 lbs in this workout if you are in this range for the lift. Then you’d get the right conditioning outcome that we want.
Why am I not losing weight (Fat)?
We go over a few reasons why you may not be losing weight. Going through the three main domains of; Diet, Workouts and Recovery. There are a few good rants in here too!
As you listen and have questions or comments, hit us up with a comment, post, text or in-person question. We’d love to get into anything you’re thinking about!
It is easy to compare yourself to others. To look at other people’s lives, careers, knowledge, skills and/or fitness and feel a little;
Jealous. Resentful. Defeated even…
This is where the subconscious mind starts to make up justifications. It will justify your unwillingness to take action by creating excuses:
My legs are sore. The kids. I’m feeling a little sluggish today. I’ll start back up tomorrow. I’ll start on Monday. I really hate running. That weight looks really heavy. I’ve got a few days until this is due. The website isn’t finished yet.
It is so, so, so easy to do nothing at all…
That is your ego talking to you. That’s fine.
Go ahead. Do nothing… if that’s what you want… listen to your ego.
Don’t be mad about the results you didn’t get, from the work you didn’t put in.
Ego is the enemy
Our Ego will try to defend us either consciously or subconsciously when it feels the need. When it feels like we might fail. When it senses that we are feeling stress. Or when we’re staring down the barrel at a task we don’t really want to do. Or when we’re just tired.
Ego: A person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance. The part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity. More on ego.
Ego will sneak up on us late at night or early in the morning when we know we should be doing the things that will get us to the goals we’ve set.
Goals? Yeah, those things, goals.
Getting the results you want starts with setting some.
This is the hard to start part for most of us. Not because we don’t think big and definitely not because we don’t want to see results, but because that little bastard ‘ego’ will steal what little faith we have in our own ability to do so.
I’ve been coaching CrossFit for almost two years now and i’ve been teaching Martial Arts in one capacity or another for about as long. I’ve seen so many goals not reached and way too many broken commitments in just this short amount of time.
Something i’ve noticed is that after so many missed goals and broken commitments we will begin to dislike ourselves and even start to believe we cannot do the things we originally set out to do.
Do you ever think to yourself: Why can’t I do the things everyone else does?
Okay smart guy, how do I start to dig my way out of this? How can I get results and start checking off some stuff from my goals list?
The one thing i’ve seen successful people do that those less-successful don’t do. They keep their promises. They value their commitments. They show up on time and get the work done. Not just to others, but to themselves.
If you want to get after your goals and make up some ground. Even if it’s just 10 minutes of exercise, or an hour of heads down focused writing. Successful people will let NOTHING get in the way of those commitments.
Not a tiring work day, not a rainy cold day, not a dead car battery, not missing lunch, not a headache, not even an injury… If you made a promise or set a commitment to show up, if you said you’d do it, then you better goddamn do it. Especially when other people are involved.
You have to go to war against your ego. Ego is our enemy.
It will lie to you, it will try to trick you, it will convince you of things in direct conflict with your promises and commitments. Every. Single. Time…
When you’ve finally had enough. When you get to the point where you decide that, your word, the promises and commitments you’ve made are stronger and more powerful than your reasons and excuses you will build integrity.
When you have integrity to fight ego with, you can then call upon dignity to help as well. Then things start to get real. The fight get’s easier, you start to win some battles and before long you find confidence and peace of mind that you are doing the things you need to do to reach your goals.
I was at my second Spartan Sprint at Ft. Bragg in 2016. Just as the year prior, and at most Spartan races, the teams from Operation Enduring Warrior were there. I always see them and they inspire me at every event. It amazes me to see them struggling and fighting through one of these tough races and all the people helping them along the way setting an example for everyone to see about sacrifice and honor. Truly inspiring. However there is a moment that happened to me today that will forever change how I see things and it’s really timely for me personally too.
There is a specific obstacle that has a fairly high wall and on top of it sits an even higher set of what ultimately forms a huge ladder, maybe going about 20 to 25 feet up high. It has two sides forming an “A” frame deal. As I approached this obstacle with my two race teammates we ran past a decent sized crew of the OEW folks. As I jogged by I saw that the person in the center had no legs, he was walking upright but had prosthetics and crutches. He was also dressed out in battle dress, just not a ruck or gas mask like the others. I thought to myself, man, that’s awesome, but continued on. This was roughly 2 miles into the race and I was starting to feel some fatigue and race pain, not good…
As each of my teammates jumped up and got to going over the obstacle and just before I went up on it myself, this crew of OEW people came up behind me. They started to attack it by hoisting up the guy with no legs, just on my heels. As I went over the top and was coming down the other side I was just about face to face with this gentleman and I noticed as I was looking into his eyes that he was completely blind and ALSO missing a hand. His team was communicating with him loudly and clearly while moving rather quickly over the obstacle together. I jumped off and just watched them work it together and my teammates came back to me and stood beside me and we just watched them together. We watched as one of his crew ran around the obstacle and jumped up to help him over from our side, then I noticed that this man climbing up was missing a leg and had a prosthetic as well.
This is when my chest tightened up and tears rolled down my face…
What moved me so much today was that in that instance when I saw this man was blind it changed my notion of LIMITS. This man’s idea of what his personal limits are go far, far, far beyond what my view of my own personal limits are. Here is this man that was likely blown up in a combat situation, a few thousand miles form his home and family, now missing both his legs, his eyesight and his hand (and god knows what else…) and is out here pushing and bravely going through this challenging and scary course. I simply could not contain my emotions as all this hit me.
As my own definition of what LIMITS are to me changed right before my eyes…
What gives you that sense of determination in your life?
I just saw that comedian and actor Eddie Izzard has run 27 marathons in 27 days, actually doubling up on the last day because of a rest day he was forced to take half way through his 27 days. Something that may go unnoticed to most people just seeing this headline/story today is that in 2009 he completed 43 marathons in just 51 days…
This gets me pretty excited to see him do this, maybe it’s because i’m 41 and trying to reach some pretty lofty goals myself over this coming year. It fuels me in a huge way and if I wasn’t really a fan of his before I am now.
Mr. Izzard says he chose 27 in 27 days to bring light to Nelson Mandela’s time in prison in South Africa. Speaking of Mandela, I’m reminded of this poem by William Henley that he has historically been cited as using to keep himself and other inmates sane during his 27 year incarceration. Which mind you, his “imprisonment” was what we would call “solitary confinement” here in the US. It has been said that he was allowed 1 day and 1 letter a year for communication with the outside world.
Out of the night that covers me, Black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears Looms but the Horror of the shade,And yet the menace of the years Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.
William Ernest Henley
I think of the unbelievable mental aspect to what Eddie Izzard has just accomplished. The mental strength you have to have in order to get through one marathon, much less 27 and to end with 2 in one day…
